You Gats-ta-be kidding me!

Potentially a technicolour nightmare

Something is rotten in the state of Hollywood - 3D film.

Thus far I've found the use of 3D predominantly over-rated and unnecessary: Avatar, Toy Story 3 - mehhhh. Underwhelmed pretty much covers it.

So you can only imagine my utter disgust upon hearing that Baz Luhrmann plans to film his adaptation of F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby in 3D.

Well, hell hath no fury like a Carlin scorned: "3D?!?" I shrieked, like a tormented soul, descending into the fiery pits of hell.

Being of rational mind (for the most part) I attempted to consider Luhrmann's possible motivation behind this frankly bizarre decision. Perhaps this will allow for increasing audience involvement: to absorb the electric atmosphere of Gatsby's grand soirees, to choke on the moral and social decay of the valley of ashes and drown in those elusive distant green lights at the end of the dock - actually, I'm talking myself into it now.

OR is it pure gimmick; less about intoxicating imagery, more about nauseating sums of cash?

Don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of some of Luhrmann's work. His 1996 modern suburban take on Romeo & Juliet brought Shakespeare to generations of people who would've otherwise remained wholly ignorant of his work. High five Baz. And that sunscreen tune was brilliant:




However, since his WOEFUL 2008 homage to his homeland, Australia, I've lost all faith. Particularly upon learning that Luhrmann intends to shoot arguably the greatest American novel of the twentieth century, a text so quintessentially American it reeks of apple pie and revolves around the key theme of the "loss of the American dream" - in SYDNEY !

I may as well give up hope now and file it under "FAIL" along with the other attempts to interpret this classic into a silverscreen masterpiece.

And these aren't the only points of contention I wish to flag up.

Casting is also giving me cause for concern. As I've discussed with friends and tutors alike, Carey Mulligan as Daisy Buchanan I can just about see but Leonardo DiCaprio as Jay Gatsby?
A huge fan of DiCaprio's work, but he ain't no Robert Redford:

smouldering so intense he's been held partially accountable for global warming

"In the words of MTV cribs - this is where the 'magic' happens."

Although, clearly it takes more than dashing to bring this classic to life, as was the case for Jack Clayton's atmospheric but lacklustre 1974 adaptation.

And Tobey Maguire as narrator and protagonist, Nick Carraway? Hmmmmmmmm, the jury's out on that one.

Suggestions welcome, I'm composing a letter to Luhrmann as you read...