TOKEN!

Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.  ~Oprah Winfrey

As verbose as she is disgustingly rich, big mama O states the glaringly obvious and so must I. 
So as another year draws to its close it's time for the age old tradition of recapping the best and worst of the films to hit our cinema screens in 2011 through my favourite medium: a ham-fisted, thrown-together,rapid review.


And a sure as I am that Santa has type 2 diabetes, i realise my loyal readership MUST be desperately awaiting my rankings for 2011. Alas, wait ye no more more loyal readership (Dad) for below I bestoweth my views-eth...

1. Drive

Literally what it says on the tin. Just like a sexy Ronseal.

Drive follows the stoic stunt driver, played by Ryan Gosling, as he finds himself drawn into a role of murder, corruption and deception. A minimalist role in some respects (he says approx. 30 lines the entire film) Gosling still pulls off a stellar performance as the silent hero of the film. On-screen chemistry with co-star Carey Mulligan is palpable, particularly in the elevator scene - well until things get, somewhat gruesome. But HEY in the words of Dean Martin - that's amore.
 
Soundtrack is also beastly - and I do NOT use that term loosely.

 2. Midnight in Paris

Nothing says Paris like Marion Cotillard and a chap with a prominent shnozz

"I wish we hadn't seen it already so we could watch it again," was the response of my mother dearest this festive season (apparently unfamiliar with the widely-known theory that DVDs are in fact re-watchable). 

Alas, Renee makes a good point. This latest offering from Woody Allen is a right cockle-warmer; charming as it is absurd. The plot of Midnight in Paris follows the token pathetic Allen protagonist, Gil (Owen Wilson), as he struggles with notions of self-doubt and the unbearable malaise of a family vacation in one of the most artistic cities in the world. That is until a midnight stroll leads him into the company of his literary and artistic heroes, from Hemingway to Dali. 
Warm, funny and wickedly lavish this is not to be missed.

NB: Not one for those with a heightened desire for realism. SILLY ALERT!

3. We Need to Talk About Kevin

Spot the odd one out.....PSYCHE!!! there isn't one.

And on the polar opposite end of the "silly spectrum" is Lynne Ramsay's film adaptation of Lionel Shriver's hit novel We Need to Talk About Kevin. 

This harrowing tale of a mother struggling with day-to-day survival in the aftermath of her son's murderous rampage through his high school is as unsettling as it is enthralling. Superb performances from Tilda Swinton as the mother, and newcomer, Ezra Miller as teenage Kevin, make bring to life a story that has gripped the attention of readers worldwide. 

Ramsay's stark use of white and the colour red, combined with just the right degree of hinting at the grotesque to set your mind racing, resulting in a film that could be as easily categorized in the horror genre as thriller. 

Unsettling is an understatement.

 4. The Guard

The staring competition between Cheadle and Gleeson brought in audiences in their tens.

2011 wasn't all doom and bloody-murderous-gloom, as discovered upon watching comedy detective romp, The Guard. Anyone who's seen In Bruges will be well aware of Brendan Gleeson's comedic ability, and Don Cheadle...well he's OK too. The story is as ridiculous as an international drug-smuggling ring based in a sleepy Irish town sounds. However, Gleeson alone provides genuine LOLs as the unorhtodox detective with a wickedly sarcastic sense of humour and a penchant for prostitutes.
Nuff said.

5. Submarine

AWKWARD FAMILY PHOTOS

I could ramble on about my love of quick-witted, Welsh-set comedy, Submarine, but guess what - I'VE ALREADY BLOGGED ABOUT THIS! 

Check it out here: SUBMARINE BLOG!

As for the flops of 2011, quite frankly I dare not dignify them with more than a one-line put down, so my bottom few of 2011 are:

1. One Day

Nice specs Hathaway. No really.

I'd like one day to go by where I don't boke at the thought of this rancid flick.

2. Breaking Dawn

Smuggery at its finest.

Boring audiences at break-neck speeds.

3. The Rum Diary

No, Depp. Just no.

Turning Thompson into Carry On and Depp into a caricature in one foul swoop - and BOY to I mean foul.

Finally, so as not to leave a bitter taste in your 2011 mouth, here are my suggested top swatches for 2012!


1. Dark Knight Rises:




2. The Artist:




3. The Woman in Black:


4. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: