The best way of spreading Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear!

What's your favourite colour?

Ohhhhhhhhhhh the weather outside may be frightful but festive films are SO delightful!!!

Now that we are officially in the "acceptable" bracket for watching Christmas films (also known as December) I feel inclined to address the topic of warm and fuzzy festive viewing.

As the snow continues to blanket our lives and emotions at this time of year [I am in a glass case of emotion!!!] there ain't nowt better for lifting the spirits than a good old Christmas film. No cold turkeys here, read on for the creme de la creme of christmassy goodness. Mmmmmmmmmm cosy!

Santa's "dressed down" demeanour failed to impress

"I'm such a cotton-headed-ninny-muggins" and "SANTA?!?!?!I KNOW HIM!" are just a couple of the many catchphrases to come from Will Ferrell's comic festive offering Elf. The plot follows the escapades of Buddy as he leaves the North Pole and ventures to NYC in search of his real father, the surly James Caan. Ludicrous, light and utterly watchable if this film were a festive beverage it'd be a triple shot gingerbread latte with extra syrup and LOLs.

Anyone who's read my "Who's the Daddy?" blog will already be aware of my adoration for Jimmy Stewart as George Bailey in It's Wonderful Life.

Frank Capra's 1946 classic is mandatory Christmas viewing in this house or you're out of the Wallace clan - a rule that I think should be adopted by most families. Granted, you spend roughly 85%of the film wondering why life is so wonderful but by GOD does that other 15% make up for it!

For those who haven't seen it I recommend the original black and white version as technicolour is just bizarre. With annual screenings on at the GFT throughout December, I highly recommend making a day of it: take in some mulled wine, laugh at the numpties falling on George Square's ice rink and go snuggle up like they did in the olden days. Vintage.

The only way to travel

I would've liked to have been present at the pitch for Raymond Briggs' animated classic The Snowman:

"Right lads, we've got a wee boy that makes a cross-dressing snowman, who's partial to a spot of breaking and entering, and abucts the boy taking him to a raucous party with his much older, multi-cultural snowman mates indulging in drinking and dancing and then disappears in the morning leaving the child feeling confused, slightly used and a bit mental.

Oh, and we'll get Bowie to present it from his attic."

Brilliant.

I jest of course, this magical 26-minute animation tugs the heart-strings of everyone that remembers the sheer joy and excitement of the first snowfall of winter, before you had responsibilities; childhood naivety at it's best.

He's obviously just spent crimbo at the Wallace's

For all the cynics out there sick of the shmaltz and sweetness I suggest Bill Murray's 1988 alternate take on Ebeneezer in Scrooged.

This tale of a selfish and skeptical tv exec haunted by 3 ghosts of past. present and future is an updated take on Dickens' A Christmas Carol.

A witty and smirksome re-imagining of a classic, Murray is at his finest as the aptly named Frank Cross. Given the choice between him and Michael Caine in my other favourite adaptation of this timeless tale, The Muppet Christmas Carol, I'd be hard-pushed to come to a final decision.

On one hand you've got Murray's drole humour and dry wit and on the other hand you've got Caine and MUPPETS!!!!

spot the odd one out

So instead, here's a snippet from both, and I'll let you decide:





Other Recommended Festive Stocking Fillers:

1. Home Alone 1 & 2 (1990/1992)
2. White Christmas (1954)
3. Bad Santa (2003)
4. Jingle All The Way (1996)
5. Miracle on 34th Street (1947 - not the one with Wilma Rubble and irritating-child-with-lisp)

Who's the Daddy?

Spectacular parenting

It was a warm Sunday evening in the Wallace ranch and I was watching "30 Rock" with my father. We were mutually laughing and bantering along to the witty repartee of Jack Donaghy and Liz Lemon, when all of a sudden Jack hits out with a prostitute joke and my dad, having just taken an over-ambitious mouthful of milk, spits it out all over himself and the coffee table in a moment of uncontrolled, unbridled hilarity, and amidst the tears of laughter and milk-sodden mess I gazed over lovingly and thought, "You're some guy John Wallace."

THAT SAID, if I had to choose another dad, these guys would be top of my list...

1. Atticus Finch: One of the all-time literary fictional greats, Atticus Finch depicts every desirable quality you'd want in a father figure: honesty, integrity, strength and wisdom. The central protagonist of Harper Lee's Pulitzer-Prize winning novel "To Kill A Mockingbird" was voted American Film Institutes "Greatest Hero in American Film" and I defy anyone to challenge that accolade. Brought to life on the silver screen by the late, great Gregory Peck, this cat ain't cuddly but by God, is he an excellent role model, father and all-round sterling fella.

He's a wonderful dad

2. George Bailey: "A toast to George Bailey - the richest man in town!" And never was a more deserved glass raised.

Jimmy Stewart's timeless role in festive classic "It's A Wonderful Life" is enough to set any heart aglow.

As the film progresses with poor old self-less George being continually burdened and battered by Potter's tyranny, gradually descending down into a grimy pit of suicidal despair (mmmm christmassy) the viewer has a difficult time remembering just why life is so wonderful, but never ONCE do we stop rooting for George Bailey. LEGEND.

That's one lucky baby!

3. Peter Mitchell (Tom Selleck)/ Jack Holden (Ted Danson)/ Michael Kellam (Steve Guttenberg): Ok, so this one's a bit greedy but come on: Danson's humour, Selleck's tash and dashing good looks and Guttenberg's...err....connection with the rest of the Police Academy cast, how could you ever ask for anything else. Granted you'd undoubtedly grow up with more daddy issues than Soon Yi-Priven but what a lark it would be!

Arnie sports some festive neckwear

4. Howard Langston: Never before had one father been so driven and determined to meet the material needs of his whining son as Arnold Schwarzenegger in ground-breaking psychological thriller "Jingle All The Way".

Granted, not the best dad at the beginning of the film but after unreasonable exertion, turmoil and destruction our protagonist dons a plastic costume and invades the Wintertainment parade for one solitary reason: the love of his son.

Moving stuff.

And as little Jake's heart swells with pride upon realising that HIS DAD is Turboman I can't help but cast my nostalgic mind back to that Christmas Fayre of primary 5, and the moment I realised that the kind and familiar eyes behind the substitute Santa joyfully handing my classmates gifts belonged to my own father.

You can't buy that kind of happiness.




The Runners Up:

1. Bruce Willis as Harry Stamper in Armageddon (feared and selfless)
2. Steve Martin as George Banks in Father of the Bride (humorous and lovable)
3. Gary Lewis as Jackie Elliot in Billy Elliot (hard life, soft heart)
4. Arnold Schwarzenegger as John Matrix in Commando (no comment necessary)

Bad Dad's:
1. Darth Vader in Star Wars (never paid any alimony)
2. Jim Carrey as Fletcher Reede in Liar Liar (I don't think he can change)
3. Chris Cooper as Col. Frank Fitts in American Beauty (murderous ex-military homophobic homosexual. Nuff said really)
4. John Heard as Peter McCallister in Home Alone (Negligence at it's worst - Social Services should've stepped in years ago)