BOO!

Review: Scream 4

Poor Emma mixed up bees and murderers when it came to staying completely still until they go away

As you may have read from a previous blog my expectations for Scream 4 were pretty low other than the promise of it being "more stabby".

And more stabby it was.

However, what I wasn't prepared for was quite so many LOL moments.

Now it may have been due to a few post-exam afternoon g&ts in the sun - but I really don't want to take any credit from Wes Craven and Kevin Williamson. This was laugh after bloody laugh, with extra ROFL-waffles on the side.

Starting off in that age-old SHOCKING way of a film within a film, the audience need only wait roughly 5mins before the first gruesome gut-busting - WAHEY! (Even better - it's Anna Paquin on the receiving end - a fitting revenge for her part, and accent, in the horrific True Blood.)

And just like - that we're thrust into an onslaught of ghost-face slashings!

You'd think by this stage she'd lose the frightened expression. SURELY.

The story picks back up in the elusive town of Woodsboro (why anyone still lives there is beyond me, like the village in Midsummer Murders) with Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) returning to promote her self-help book (sweet irony) and like the grim reaper, she brings the slaughtering of pretty much every teen in the town.

Fans of the previous 3 films will no doubt be wondering where on earth they plan on taking the plot now, but at least the brains behind this franchise can poke ample fun at themselves. The Scream films started a cult following of slasher-fans, akin to those enamored by the Halloween series, and now they're riding the wave all the way to parody island (which I hear is lovely this time of year.)

The plot and acting is laboured but by GOD is it funny! They're laughing too...

Yes Courtney, we're wondering what you were thinking too...

There are so many humourous aspects to this film I'm having great difficulty deciding on one definitive factor, so instead, here's a few...

• The most perceptive and fearsome police deputy in 10 counties - Officer Dewey (David Arquette). Continually showing up to crime scenes 2 minutes too late and apprehending no suspects, making no arrests and effectively having no purpose in the community at all, it's little wonder anyone's still alive in Woodsboro. BUT HE MEANS WELL, and everyone loves a trier, right?

Dewey has yet to locate the victim. Hmmm if only there were a sign...

• The new cast include the usual assortment of "hotties" and creeps along with what is undeniably a Culkin (of Macauley's clan - did u know there are SEVEN of them?!) Rory Culkin to be precise, along with Emma Roberts (of Julia and Eric's clan), Adam Brody - yon geek aff the O.C and the decidedly masculine Hayden Panetierre, who's gravelly voice and visible adam's apple are somewhat of a distraction throughout.

Where's Wally JUST GOT INTERESTING!

• One of the other most alarming elements of this horror, guts and gore aside, is Courtney Cox's collagen-infused visage. Showing no fear in the face of danger (because she can't) the big screen is no friend of the frozen faced.

He's right to scream if she turns around.

• The moment in which someone (no spoilers here) is stabbed through a letter box.

          Yes, really, a letterbox.

Knock knock. Who's there? STAB!

• The "reveal" scene in which the audience discovers the true identity behind the ghostly mask is particularly amusing, especially when followed by an extended scene of self-mutilation that had our packed cinema in stitches (excuse the pun). And just when you think it's over...oh no, there's more punchy, stabby, shooty action to come. The laughs just don't stop!

Don't get me wrong, the jumpy edge-of-your-seat, nervous-laughter moments are still plentiful as are the blood, guts and gore but never before have I encountered such mass amusement during a "horror" film.

A definite must-see for those seeking a bloody rolicking good time!

Scream 4 is open in cinemas nationwide now.

SCREAM IF YOU WANNA GO FASTERRRRRRR

My reaction to the NCTJ Government syllabus

Have you ever screamed into a pillow? If not - try it now. Feels good, huh?

I'm of the school of thought that considers a good old scream/cry/swear to be essential every now and then in order to release tension, stress and get some crazy out.

Sometimes people need to shake themselves out of the comfortable monotony of daily life and this is a sure-fire way of doing so.

Another is to scare oneself shitless...(do you see where I'm going with this?)

Barrymore getting a prime cover spot regardless to the fact she's gone in the first 10 mins.

"Hey Sydney, what's your favourite scary movie?"and "I'm gonna gut you like a fish" are just a few of the timeless phrases to come from Wes Craven's 1996 slash hit, Scream.

This blockbuster flick was more than just a quote-fest; jam-packed with more dark humour, slick twists and suspense that Ghost-face could shake a carving knife at. Paying notable homage to other films of it's genre, Scream tapped into a whole new generation of blood-thirsty fear-mongers.

So what happens with every mass success: why yes, they make a sequel.

And then another one.

And ten years on from the last? ANOTHER ONE!

(Although don't get me wrong - I'm actually as excited about the prospect of more bloody skullduggery as the next prepubescent boy...)

Same knife. Same mask. Same basic plot.

Ghost-face is back, and he still ain't over it (me thinks someone wasn't hugged enough as a child) and this time he's EVEN STABBIER.

With a new generation of Woodboro High students going under the knife, many questions remain unanswered:

- Why DOES Sydney Prescott (Neve Campbell) keep returning to Woodboro when she's pretty much guaranteed a slicin?
- Why are local retailers still selling the costume? (according to theory, no mask= no stabby)
- Why are we STILL being forced to see David Arquette dressed as Deputy Doofy and take it seriously?

I have no such answers but what I do have is the promise of more edge-of-your-seat suspense, gore and bloody ridiculous escapades.

*SHRIEKS*


Scream 4 is in cinemas nationwide now.

Fangs for the memories!

ONE - ah ah ah ah, TWO - ah ah ah ah!

Apologies for the title, but I'm a sucker for a pun (BOOM - that was another one) almost as much as I am for a good vampire caper.
Hell, we all are these days! But fear not readers with cinematic taste, this ain't going to be no homage to Twilight (I <3 R-PATZ!) but more of a nod towards a few good vampire films that have seduced audiences into either fearing the fang-ed ones or got them thinking "un-dead huh? doesn't sound too bad..."
From the terrifying to the ridiculous, Hollywood has given us film after film of these blood-sucking fiend-fests but my fear is that amid the latest wave of drivel cough (True Blood, Vampire Diaries, Twilight) cough, we lose sight of the many decent offerings out there for us to get our teeth into *groans*.

What?! I didn't call you pale! I was talking to the guy behind you...

First up is old-school classic, and arguably scariest depition of a blood-sucker:"Nosferatu" (1922). Director F.W. Murnau brought us a silent nightmare in this bone-chilling film. Given the year in which this was made, one can only shudder in fear at the prospect of what Murnau would do with the technological advancements of this era. Saying that though, the starkness of this film undoubtedly adds to the horror. Needless to say Max Schreck's timeless depiction of Orlok has gained world-wide acclaim, and deservedly so, forever etching the image of his rodent-like mug in our minds.Nosferatu 1922

Next up is Joel Schumacher's 80s teen sensation "The Lost Boys". Obviously alluding to J.M.Barrie's ageless Tootles,Slightly and crew, this has a more sinister edge to it - and one kick-ass 80s soundtrack! Vampires have never been so cool, I mean undead Keifer Sutherland and the Corey double-whammy (Feldman and Haim)? Nuff said.

This tale of 2 brothers moving to a Californian town infested with teen vampires provides laughs and frights gallore, something any 80s Brat Pack fan would enjoy, as well as blazing a trail for many a teen vampire flick to follow.

When I was younger this film was pretty damn scary, but now it's quite apparent that the scariest thing about this offering is the dialogue...

Sam (upon realising his broseph has become a vamp): "You're a creature of the night Michael, just like out of a comic book! You're a vampire Michael! My own brother, a goddamn, shit-sucking vampire. You wait 'till mom finds out, buddy!"
Brilliant.

Lastly, a little known but hugely acclaimed Swedish tale of childhood friendship between boy and vampire: "Let The Right One In". I saw this film in Sydney, at a matinee screening with about 20 aussie pensioners who seemed relatively unimpressed/ appalled by director Tomas Alfredson's portrayal of John Ajvide Lindqvist's novel. Idiots. It was excellent.

This haunting tale of a young boy, Oskar, who falls in love with a vampire girl, Eli, is captivating, chilling and poignant. Everything from the impressive cast to the bleak, icy setting of Stockholm suburb, Blackeberg, is strangely enchanting.

Fans of gore need not worry either, as although not gratutious, the blood is quite plentiful with the odd decapitation and human combustion thrown in for good measure - it's a horror afterall.

Apparently an American re-make has recently been released, and I probably will get round to seeing it at some point, but to be honest I see no need.