BOO!

Review: Scream 4

Poor Emma mixed up bees and murderers when it came to staying completely still until they go away

As you may have read from a previous blog my expectations for Scream 4 were pretty low other than the promise of it being "more stabby".

And more stabby it was.

However, what I wasn't prepared for was quite so many LOL moments.

Now it may have been due to a few post-exam afternoon g&ts in the sun - but I really don't want to take any credit from Wes Craven and Kevin Williamson. This was laugh after bloody laugh, with extra ROFL-waffles on the side.

Starting off in that age-old SHOCKING way of a film within a film, the audience need only wait roughly 5mins before the first gruesome gut-busting - WAHEY! (Even better - it's Anna Paquin on the receiving end - a fitting revenge for her part, and accent, in the horrific True Blood.)

And just like - that we're thrust into an onslaught of ghost-face slashings!

You'd think by this stage she'd lose the frightened expression. SURELY.

The story picks back up in the elusive town of Woodsboro (why anyone still lives there is beyond me, like the village in Midsummer Murders) with Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) returning to promote her self-help book (sweet irony) and like the grim reaper, she brings the slaughtering of pretty much every teen in the town.

Fans of the previous 3 films will no doubt be wondering where on earth they plan on taking the plot now, but at least the brains behind this franchise can poke ample fun at themselves. The Scream films started a cult following of slasher-fans, akin to those enamored by the Halloween series, and now they're riding the wave all the way to parody island (which I hear is lovely this time of year.)

The plot and acting is laboured but by GOD is it funny! They're laughing too...

Yes Courtney, we're wondering what you were thinking too...

There are so many humourous aspects to this film I'm having great difficulty deciding on one definitive factor, so instead, here's a few...

• The most perceptive and fearsome police deputy in 10 counties - Officer Dewey (David Arquette). Continually showing up to crime scenes 2 minutes too late and apprehending no suspects, making no arrests and effectively having no purpose in the community at all, it's little wonder anyone's still alive in Woodsboro. BUT HE MEANS WELL, and everyone loves a trier, right?

Dewey has yet to locate the victim. Hmmm if only there were a sign...

• The new cast include the usual assortment of "hotties" and creeps along with what is undeniably a Culkin (of Macauley's clan - did u know there are SEVEN of them?!) Rory Culkin to be precise, along with Emma Roberts (of Julia and Eric's clan), Adam Brody - yon geek aff the O.C and the decidedly masculine Hayden Panetierre, who's gravelly voice and visible adam's apple are somewhat of a distraction throughout.

Where's Wally JUST GOT INTERESTING!

• One of the other most alarming elements of this horror, guts and gore aside, is Courtney Cox's collagen-infused visage. Showing no fear in the face of danger (because she can't) the big screen is no friend of the frozen faced.

He's right to scream if she turns around.

• The moment in which someone (no spoilers here) is stabbed through a letter box.

          Yes, really, a letterbox.

Knock knock. Who's there? STAB!

• The "reveal" scene in which the audience discovers the true identity behind the ghostly mask is particularly amusing, especially when followed by an extended scene of self-mutilation that had our packed cinema in stitches (excuse the pun). And just when you think it's over...oh no, there's more punchy, stabby, shooty action to come. The laughs just don't stop!

Don't get me wrong, the jumpy edge-of-your-seat, nervous-laughter moments are still plentiful as are the blood, guts and gore but never before have I encountered such mass amusement during a "horror" film.

A definite must-see for those seeking a bloody rolicking good time!

Scream 4 is open in cinemas nationwide now.

Games of Thrones

"You win or you die..."

10 reasons to watch HBO's new epic fantasy drama, Games of Thrones, on Sky Atlantic:

1. The story: based on George R.R. Martin's hit fantasy novel series, A Song of Ice and Fire, this medieval fantasy romp brings to life the world of Westeros and the epic conflict between two houses (Stark and Lannister) to assert power. Blood, love, greed, betrayal, corruption - and that's just the beginning...

2. Monday night escapism: Whoever thought of screening this on a Monday should get a pay rise, chase away the Sunday fear and monotonous drudgery of a new working week with a good old dose of fantasy.

3. Sean Bean: Nuff said.

Creepiest one I could find *smirks*

4. Richard Madden: Hottest new talent to come out of Renfrewshire (and how often can you say that?) Madden is set to impress in the pivotal role of Robb Stark, and I'm NOT just saying that because we're childhood friends...*proud face*

I taught him how to smoulder like that. True story.

5.  Mark Addy (King Robert Baratheon) : Dress him up as the King all you want, but I'm sure I'm not the only one smirking in memory of him in The Full Monty, cling-wrapping himself whilst chowing down on a king-sized mars bar. "I've heard of anti-wrinkle cream but I've never heard of anti-fat-bastard cream." (The Full Monty)

"Where for art mine Tesco Clubcard?"

6. The rest of the intensely beautiful cast: Makes for easy watching, innit.

And they say pets look like their owners...

7. Setting: David Benioff and D.B Weiss bring the adventure to life on a backdrop of jaw-dropping scenery and breath-taking fantasy lands that'll make you forget where you are for the entirety of the show.

8. Violence: Who doesn't enjoy a bit of bloody brutality on a Monday night?

9. Sex: Not quite as raunchy as Rome, but more buff bods, butts and boobs than you can shake a medieval stick at.

10. Bite-sized drama: Because who has Lord of the Rings kind of time these days? I mean honestly.

Games of Thrones airs Mondays at 9pm on Sky Atlantic

SCREAM IF YOU WANNA GO FASTERRRRRRR

My reaction to the NCTJ Government syllabus

Have you ever screamed into a pillow? If not - try it now. Feels good, huh?

I'm of the school of thought that considers a good old scream/cry/swear to be essential every now and then in order to release tension, stress and get some crazy out.

Sometimes people need to shake themselves out of the comfortable monotony of daily life and this is a sure-fire way of doing so.

Another is to scare oneself shitless...(do you see where I'm going with this?)

Barrymore getting a prime cover spot regardless to the fact she's gone in the first 10 mins.

"Hey Sydney, what's your favourite scary movie?"and "I'm gonna gut you like a fish" are just a few of the timeless phrases to come from Wes Craven's 1996 slash hit, Scream.

This blockbuster flick was more than just a quote-fest; jam-packed with more dark humour, slick twists and suspense that Ghost-face could shake a carving knife at. Paying notable homage to other films of it's genre, Scream tapped into a whole new generation of blood-thirsty fear-mongers.

So what happens with every mass success: why yes, they make a sequel.

And then another one.

And ten years on from the last? ANOTHER ONE!

(Although don't get me wrong - I'm actually as excited about the prospect of more bloody skullduggery as the next prepubescent boy...)

Same knife. Same mask. Same basic plot.

Ghost-face is back, and he still ain't over it (me thinks someone wasn't hugged enough as a child) and this time he's EVEN STABBIER.

With a new generation of Woodboro High students going under the knife, many questions remain unanswered:

- Why DOES Sydney Prescott (Neve Campbell) keep returning to Woodboro when she's pretty much guaranteed a slicin?
- Why are local retailers still selling the costume? (according to theory, no mask= no stabby)
- Why are we STILL being forced to see David Arquette dressed as Deputy Doofy and take it seriously?

I have no such answers but what I do have is the promise of more edge-of-your-seat suspense, gore and bloody ridiculous escapades.

*SHRIEKS*


Scream 4 is in cinemas nationwide now.

Foo Fighters: Back and Forth



Ever thine, ever mine, Everlong

 The sun was splitting the skies of Glasgow Green on Sunday 24th of August, 2003. With half-bottles smuggled doon breeks and pasty flesh exposed as far as the eye could see, thousands of fans descended upon the crowded green, in expectation of musical excellence at an event imaginatively named "Big Day Out @ The Green".

Years of rockin out on the guitar can cause the affliction "t-rex arm-itis"

With an impressive line-up including PJ Harvey, Queens of the Stoneage and The Red Hot Chili Peppers and humorously, The Electric Six, there I was decked out in my big brother's chili's T (customised to within an inch of it's life) nodding along politely in vague response to the boy chat going on around me, eagerly awaiting my first ever proper gig experience.

So young, so naive, so desperate to find any kind of music that wasn't comprised of prepubescent girly boys...

This is the day I was introduced to one particular band that will forever(long...see what i did there?) hold a place in my heart: Foo Fighters.



Lustrous main+tats+shades+geetar= rockstar. Simple maths.

Nevermind the others, who were amazing don't get me wrong, but given the combination of bitchin' - yet accessible - rock and Dave Grohl's drole banter and cancer jokes - I was sold.

And so it began: the back catalogue was ravished, listened to and loved...and now comes the movie.

GIES

The documentary film chronicles the 16 year history of the Foos: from Grohl's Nirvana beginnnings to their Grammy-winning, multi-platinum, arena and stadium headlining status as one of the biggest rock bands on the planet.

Produced by Nigel Sinclair, who also brought us No Direction Home: Bob Dylan and Amazing Journey: The Story of the Who, Back and Forth also offers insight into the creation of the band's new album Wasting Light in a lowly garage, and will be followed by live 3D performance from the band, playing their new album Wasting Light front to back.

Will this be my turning point with 3D? (doubtful) Will it seriously shocking and insightful? Or will it be more akin to This Is Spinal Tap? (secretly hope so)

Either way, it should be enough unadulterated Grohl time to keep me more than satisfied...for now.

Foo Fighters: Back and Forth screens in selected cinemas nationwide on Thursday April 7.