HONEY, I'M HOME!

GFT 1960 (Sorry guys - you're about 40 years too early)

We're through the looking glass people. Yesterday I was granted a key.

"Pray do tell Carlin, a key to WHAT?" I hear you cry. And so I take a deep breath and my heart swells with pride as I regally announce: "WHY, A KEY TO THE GFT!"

And with this the crowds break out into cheer, streamers are thrown, couples embrace, mothers tell their children "note this day, for you shall remember it forever" and a gold statuette is erected in my honour...

Too far?

Somewhat of an over-dramatisation: there were no cries of joy, streamers or gold erections (dare you to click that link) - but i still got a key.

I started my role as a Film Festival Assistant yesterday at the Glasgow Film Theatre, home of quality international cinema and Glaswegian institution - I couldn't be more chuffed.

And it's even better than just being allowed inside the building - I also get an insider's view of how the GFT is run and how festivals come together, not to mention working with all the lovely folks that MAKE THINGS HAPPEN - including the delightful Claire aka brainchild behind uber-cool events company In The Company of Wolves.

PLUS I'm working on a prrrrrrretty cool project to boot. Basically, I'm working with Festival Director extraodinaire Seonaid to get a couple of successful films from this year's Glasgow Film Festival commissioned at other International Festivals. Fun? YES. Even better, what sets these films apart is they've both been re-scored by up and coming British musical acts. Let me tell you some more:

Dramatic readings of the latest Jackie Collins always draws in a crowd

F W Murnau's epic cinematic portrayal of Faust tells the tale of a wager between God and Satan to tempt a learned alchemist into selling his soul. That's the short version of this 1926 silent classic. Now take this incredible story and images and set it against a new semi-classical score for string quintet and electronics by Scottish music producer and DJ, Alex Smoke.

Alex Smoke. Trippy

Featuring the Scottish Ensemble performing the classical elements of the score and a multitude of electronics weaving in hidden references and meaning.

Outstanding.

The second film, for all you sci-fi lovers out there (hey Dad), is Douglas Trumbull's 1972 classic, Silent Running.

What? No, I don't have this poster above my bed...*blushes*

Bruce Dern plays the sole crew member of a spaceship harbouring Earth's last nature reserves. Accompanied only by three robots, he ponders the fate of his last pocket of nature and the deaths of his fellow crew members in this far-looking (and highly entertaining) speculative film.
What could make this masterpiece even more desirable? Why, a post-rock alternative/experimental rock sound track of course, courtesy of alt rock outfit 65daysofstatic.

I get this a lot. Just ignore them and they'll go away.

 This band use keyboards, drum samples, angry post-rock guitars and gritty synth noise to create headphone-hungry, cinematic soundscapes for the digital age. Perfect for a strategically orchestrated 90-minute score to compliment this science fiction classic. If you like sci-fi, and you like experimental rock - GET IN.

So my task from here on in is to get these bad boys distributed to film festivals across ze globe, taking my first babysteps towards total world domination.

WISH ME LUCK!

Telly-fantastique!

Whoever said hacks weren't lookers?

For all my garbled ramblings on film I often neglect it's poorer, less glamorous sibling - the humble telly box.

Well not this evening, OHHHH NO.

Tonight it's getting my full attention, and not just because my brain has been sapped of all activity following a day of NCTJ law exams...but also due to an excellent two-part BBC Scotland drama, The Field of Blood.

This adaptation of Denise Mina's best-selling novel is set in the Daily News office in 1982 and follows the plight of "newsboy"  Paddy (up-and-coming talent Jayd Johnson) as she struggles to be taken seriously in the male dominated, and joyless, industry of journalism.

I'd look worried too if Malcolm Tucker was giving me that face

More than just an edge-of-your-seat who dunnit, of which my mother is a massive fan, this IS that but it's also a dark and humorous exposé of the way news rooms were run in the days before Google *HORRIFIED GASPS*

This depiction of a working environment fuelled by heavy drinking, chain-smoking, sexism and callousness is the exact reason I'm getting into journalism. Everybody wants to be a hack... (to the tune of Everybody Wants to be a Cat)

Jayd Johnson impresses in her role of brave, go-getter Paddy, in a time that she was told journalists were either mean old hacks or short-skirted little chickies who used their *ahem* charms to get ahead.

Funnyman Ford Kiernan, of Chewing the Fat and Still Game fame, does a convincing and amusing turn as a smarmy blood-lusting hack, keen to get the scoop on all things grizzly in order to fill the columns.

One can only assume he's on hold to Specsavers *chortles*

Whilst David Morrissey ticks all the right boxes as Glasgow Daily News boss, Murray "the devil" Devlin.
He is assertive, aggressive and rude. And oh.so.dreamy.

But alas, I DIGRESS, don't be fooled by my light-hearted bantering; this is as grizzly and dark as it is entertaining.

Let's hope the second part lives up to the first. Watch this space...

The Field of Blood is on BBC1 at 9pm TONIGHT (i.e. right now)
Or catch it on BBC Iplayer

It's a nice day for a white wedding

Royal winchin'

You'd need to be a blind/deaf/dumb/mute/recluse to have missed the GARGANTUAN hype around the royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton this weekend, and like every other female on the planet I too got sucked right in.

Who doesn't love a real life fairytale?

So I thought I'd blog about the sanctity and importance of marriage, the delicate intricacies of relationships and the much discussed pros and cons of marital union.

NAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTT!

Let's instead look at a few examples of amusing movie marriages and woeful weddings...

Muriel's Wedding

YOU'RE TERRIBLE MURIEL. No, seriously.

An obvious but hilarious example of the tragic wannabe bride. Toni Collette's turn as the brassy, bold yet pathetically loveable Muriel tugged the heartstrings and tested the boak reflex of many. Muriel's Wedding is far more than just the story of a lonely girl's plight to marry...anyone: tragic? yes. Hilarious? DEFINITELY!

The Wedding Singer

The face of marital bliss.

Again, the name's a bit of a give away but again, The Wedding Singer undoubtedly pokes bittersweet fun at the ritual of marriage, with hugely amusing repercussions. Equally as pathetic as he is charming, Robbie Hart (Adam Sandler) wants to wed more than anything, yet inevitably meets many an obstacle along the way. From depression and desperation comes much humour. Cameos from Steve Buscemi, Jon Lovitz and Billy Idol add further luminous, gaudy colour to this heart-warming flick - oh and the 2 disc soundtrack is an absolute 80s beast! (Not that I own it or anything...)

Father of the Bride

Grimacing father on your wedding day: every little girl's dream

I like to imagine my dad will be something akin to Steve Martin in Father of the Bride when I get married: concerned, socially awkward and being terrorised by a massively camp wedding planner named Franc (pronounced "fronk"). LOLs come steadily and reliably throughout this remake of a Spencer Tracy classic, perfect Sunday afternoon fodder.




Now for some specific wedding moments from otherwise un-weddingy films...

Wayne's World 2

WE'RE NOT WORTHY! WE'RE NOT WORTHY!

Anyone who knows me will know I have the unique talent of quoting both Wayne's World films VERBATIM,  and one of my favourite scenes from the second offering, the aptly named Wayne's World 2, is the "race to the alter" scene, in which Wayne (Mike Myers) has to stop Cassandra from marrying Bobby (Christopher Walken). This delectable parody of a classic (The Graduate) is befitting of the wit and humour of the other two films, and has resulted in me battering any full length window I come across in my adult life and screaming: "Jesus God NO! CASSANDRAAAA!"

Night at the Roxbury

My ideal Prince William

The climactic scene in ridiculous comedy classic, A Night at the Roxbury, is the arranged wedding of Steve Butabi (Will Ferrell) and Emily Sanderson (Molly Shannon) and as imagined the path of true love never runs smoothly. Skillfully cramming in as many parodies as possible within a 15 minute sequence, this bad boy gets me every time.WHAT IS LOVE?